L o n g n e c k s & F o r t i e s

New Room Mate

2009-08-11T17:08:00.003+08:00

Never stops Licking

Steele Campbell Duncan

2009-08-10T12:42:00.007+08:00

Is Possibly the most un-camera shy person ever invented

Rolin' on Dubs

2009-08-05T11:45:00.005+08:00

Terry Kennedy - Professional

2009-07-16T01:34:00.006+08:00

TK out with a new video clip...the video obiviously had a tiny budget and in my opinion gets pretty damn borring after the 1.30 minute mark but its dope to see The man doing his thing and keeping up appearances

the sad thing is TK is still pushing his shoe line Harrrd...im sure their are kids out there getting down with the TK's, just please do me a favor, not wear them in public anymore and maybe consider keeping them as a memorabilia type thing (Drew if your reading this, Take Notes!)

Black or White

2009-07-07T07:33:00.009+08:00

I know that the hole Michael Jackson’s death thing happened a week or so ago and if your anything like me, hearing about it has become as annoying as some lame song that gets played 5 times an hour on every radio station but this post had to happen. these flicks just show that no matter how much mj cops for all the shit that went down in his personal life, you can never deny the influence he had on so many different type of people through his amazingly good music.

Puerto Rican Day Parade

2009-06-29T21:55:00.011+08:00

This thing was wild. didnt stay long for a few reasons...all these rican people kept steppin to me in Spanish (it gets annoying explaining to people that you haven’t seen Federico around and you dont speak Spanish) secondly Puerto Rican people are crazy passionate, mix that with a hot day, alchohol and a huge parade you get a whole lot of police and a whole gang of trouble.

Oh but i was able to figure out that i am going to marry a Puerto Rican girl...anyone who has been lucky enough to see alot of them will know whyy.

Jamaica, Queens

2009-06-27T00:19:00.007+08:00

sadly i only spent one night in Jamaica but it was maybe the funnest / most intense night ive ever had in new york... the place is as raw as it wants to be, just walking around the streets and observing the locals you can tell madd shit goes DOWN in those parts.

Uptown

2009-06-25T00:27:00.015+08:00

Harlem

Spanish Harlem

Midtown

2009-06-24T23:52:00.011+08:00

Centrals

Downtown

2009-06-24T23:17:00.008+08:00

Lakers, its about time

2009-06-20T05:30:00.003+08:00

Now i feel proud to say i have been a lakers / kobe fan from the day i started following the nba, where as before i would get nothing but stupid comments like, "lakers cant do shit without shaq" or "fuck the lakers" well actually im probabaly going to hear that last comment even more now but its all good...after all the shit us lakers fans went through after shaq left we are back on TOP baby. so all you haters can keep hating all you like but it dont matter cause your teams are sorry compared to the lake show
p.s. you herd it here first, the lakers will repeat ans become the 2010 nab champs aswell!!!

Oakland Needs

2009-06-10T00:37:00.001+08:00

People doin' what they do

2009-06-09T04:03:00.007+08:00

'to do' list in ny next week

2009-06-08T00:44:00.003+08:00

1. Land safely (obviously)
2. Smoke with my homie Phill and play nba 2k9 all through the night while bragging about how much better the weed in cali is
3. Meet up with my friend Ty
4. Attend the Brooklyn hip hop festival even though the line up is weak tickets are only $10
5. Go visit my Grandpa in New Jersey and listen to him talk shit and start sentences with, ‘when I was growing up black people would…’
6. The aNYthing store is a must do
7. See how long I will last with the $200 I have saved before Im forced to call my dad and hustle more out of him

That’s all I can think of right now I may add to the list as I think of more stuff that has to be done while im there. So stayed tuned because updates are on the way.

Recent Purchase

2009-06-08T00:23:00.003+08:00

Peep previous post for details.

Due To

2009-06-08T00:12:00.002+08:00

A recent Purchase and my ever increasing lazy nature this blog will from now on consist mostly of pictrures that I have taken. Im not going so far as to call it a photo blog but shit on this page will most likely only stimulate your visual senses rather than those other lame senses you all think are soo cool (yess, stimulate is a fucked up word sorry if I offend anyone by using it)

Flashback

2009-05-16T07:34:00.004+08:00

Back in the day of youth and innocence when we looked forward to the weekends in order to wake up early and watch rage / video hits (well I did that shit anyway) my life was all about basketball, basketball hoop in the back yard, was sure to always be fresh in the latest Penny Hardaway sneakers (actually gotta give my pops love for that) I even got detention in like 5th grade for refusing to play soccer in my sports class, if I remember correctly, I basically just hated soccer and it wasnt basketball.
Needless to say I was all for collecting basketball cards as well it kinda just went hand in hand with ballin all the time. Anyways time went on, all that stuff faded in to black…im pretty sure I sold all my cards to like cash converters or some collector place.
But its funny I been ballin pretty hard as of late and a few weeks ago I was at Berkeley flee market just lazin, lookin at shit And what did I see…this og nigga was sellin unopened packs of nba trading cards from the 1990-91 season, 91-92 season and 92-93 season. Shit was bananas and to top off the amazing find, his deal was 4 packs for $5. Dude was weird as hell so no questions just got em and I was out.
Opening those 4 packs was more exciting then my last 5 birthdays and Christmas’s put together. If you know some shit, you would know a Muggsy Bogues, a Grant Hill Rookie and James Worthy All-Star card is a major come-up.

The red house

2009-05-04T10:11:00.008+08:00

Red House Furniture & Appliance on South Elm street in North Carolina, your commercial did grab my attention because im am black people andd white people in need of somewhere to buy furniture. But i cant ride with my trusted furniture store trying to slip some racial equality in on the side when I go to purchase my general household equipment.
What ever happened to using that insanely exaggerated yelling voices to advertise your shit on tv or maybe that technique is only used by carpet stores.
The point is Red House you gonna know your place.

B & W with a little C

2009-04-25T00:53:00.013+08:00

Food of lust

2009-04-10T09:54:00.007+08:00

Maury I just want to thank you for having such entertaining guests which therefore makes me not feel bad for skipping my mourning classes and watching you...keep it up

My new favorite super hero

2009-04-07T04:23:00.011+08:00

Old washed up super hero like captain planet and ratioactive man step aside theres a new dog in town...
HENRY HEMP MAN!

Dont be fooled by his charming looks, this dudes a cool killer. With his paranoid attitude and his insanely big mussels Hemp Man is sure to save the day

Disclaimer: Henry Hemp Man is often late also he is extremely unreliable and well known for coming to save the day on the wrong day

Get your shopping gear on

2009-04-03T01:50:00.010+08:00

Colbert Report informed me about "interesting" little article

being a boy i tend to look at things like this from a dudes point of view, and right now the view i got is totally fucked up. guys just imagine, you go to donate your precious sperms to maybe help a lady who desperately needs it and weeks later you find out your “little guys” are on sale but not any old sale, it’s a clearance sale (the worst kind). To find that out would leave a man’s pride in the gutter. It’s kind of like kicking a man in the nuts without really doing it.
This article left me wondering a couple of things, if your sperm goes on sale does that mean you get paid less for donating it? Why does this Xytex International believe that women can be fit parents, feed and provide shit for their future kids if the only reason they will have the kids is cause they get a $200 discount off the vial of sperm?

A nice lens

2009-03-30T23:54:00.009+08:00

2009-03-27T10:14:00.003+08:00

My guess is he has a non asian girlfriend and he wants to break-up with her but just doesnt know what to say...obviously this book would have all the answers right?

quick question

2009-03-25T06:29:00.008+08:00

who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I am gonna squeeze one of those weird looking dangly things and drink whatever comes out"??
whoever the mr. man was, thank you, because with some chocolate flavoring up in it, the stuff tastes real good. ooh and im about 95% sure you went through a hole lot of discrimination (cause i dunno about you but it seems like an extremely homosexual thing to do) so kudos go your way for sticking to your guns and not letting the Haters get you down.

'Venn Diagram'

2009-03-21T04:08:00.004+08:00

So in my english class we have been doing this compare and contrast type jazz. Basically you choose two things/people and you write down what they have in common and what differences they have then write an essay about it (and yes it is as boring as it sounds). The teacher makes us do it on this thing called a Venn Diagram, which everyone one was familiar with bar me. Most people compared stuff like cats and dogs or high school and college. My boy Dontae choose to compare some stuff that was a bit more entertaining, which you gotta do when your tryin to be the class clown and all. Anyway this is the one that made me laugh...

Show me the moneyyy

2009-03-12T23:16:00.004+08:00

And wipe that lame smirk from your grill

Im Hooked

2009-03-12T10:17:00.003+08:00

Well unlike what seems to be everyone in the world, i Do Not own an iphone or ipod touch. but i am fortunate enough to own a regular old ipod! although i shouldn't call it a regular old ipod because this little jem is equipped with in my opinion the best, most explosive game available on any pod (exaggerating never hurt) I got The Sims Pool on my shit!

The Sims Pool is a lot of fun, and really brings something different to the mix when it comes to iPod games. Well not so much, but when I am board in class or weeded up and lookin’ for some quick fix entertainment I look no futher then the games section on my measly old ipod.

In conclusion I just want to make it clear that I did not pay the $4.99 on itunes to buy this game (which to me is priceless) I gotta give a shout out to Reilly who accidently brought it while he was in the states, thinking it was a game for his fancy ipod touch. It kinda reminds me of that saying….one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

Last Night A Reese's Saved My Life

2009-03-09T00:26:00.003+08:00

It was around 11:30pm when I first started to feel myself slipping. It had been around 3 hours since I had eaten anything and the hunger effects of the blunt I finished smoking half an hour ago were really starting to kick in.

I found I was struggling to concentrate on the movie I was watching, the strange grumble and groan sounds my stomach was making were drowning out the sound of the television. All I could think was how much I wanted to eat. I was imagining myself eating a Double Burger from In-and-Out. Picturing the hot beef patty with cheese melted on top of it, tomato, lettuce and the famous secret sauce all in a delicious lightly toasted bun was making me feel like I could not go on living without it. But In-and-Out Burger was closed and therefore not an option. Looking back I would have been too lazy/high to make the journey there anyways.

Merely thinking of food was not going to give me the satisfaction I was so desperately searching for. I needed to gather my thoughts and take care of business. But being in the state that I was, cooking was not an option. This left me in a predicament that I dread with all my heart. The situation where all you want is something/anything good to eat but at the same time don’t want to put any effort towards the issue due to your mind state at the time. So I was left with only one option and not a very good one at that. I forced myself out of my bedroom where it was cozy/warm and stumbled into the kitchen, desperate to find a source of food that did not require any additional effort by me. In other words something to eat that I did not have to cook. I searched the dark kitchen high and low; I examined the cupboard for around 5 minutes to no prevail. My worst dreams were looking like a reality; I was going to be forced to go to bed with the munchies.

After getting distracted by the instructions for making tuna casserole on the back of, quick and easy tuna casserole box (which I was obviously not going to cook up) I slowly walked back into my room. As I was sitting there dealing with the fact that I was gonna be going to bed on an empty stomach I remembered something. I remembered buying a Reese’s at school earlier that day. But for the life of me I could not remember eating it. Had I eaten it straight after buying it and just not remembered? Had I eaten it after lunch as a delicious treat for desert? Or maybe just maybe I had not eaten it and it was chilin’ in the bottom of my bag waiting for me and only me.

My bag was in the corner of my room; I rushed over and began to search through it. In the first compartment all I found was pens, pencils and old tootsie roll wrappers (at that time I would have been happy with just one tootsie roll). In the second larger compartment I found the homework I was meant to do that night. I was down to the third and final pocket I opened it expecting to be disappointed but to my surprise and delight there it was the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. If only there was a camera there to take a picture of my face. I can’t think of a time when my smile was as big. Then I proceeded to eat it, quicker than the speed of sound.

My mission was complete just as I thought I would have to give it up. A Reese’s saved my life…

Not Cool Stevo

2009-03-07T01:09:00.001+08:00

"Oaksterdam"

2009-03-03T03:48:00.005+08:00

If your a weed head who seems to always find themselves asking, "why does this marijuana stuff do all these different things to my mind and body?" or if your an up and coming dealer who wants to brush up on your growing skills. then this is the College for you

From class focussing on Politics/Legal Issues to classes that teach you all you need to know about Distribution/Dispensary. Oaksterdam University has it all. but before applying at this school of champions you may want to find out if you qualify.

The following Reqirements must be met by ALL Applicants -
• Must have at least one years experience of being a stoner (this does not include smoking only on weekends)
• Cold Chilin’ must be one of your favorite things to do
• Experience in the art of rolling and chopping
• Consider yourself to be more creative when high then when sober
• Have previously dropped out of High School or another College
• Have a criminal record
• Own any form of game consoled (e.g. PS3, Sega Mega drive and Xbox)
• Your diet is “whatever is easy, quick to make and tastes half decent”
• You get paranoid about pointless things
• Rather get high then go out and do something productive

We here at Oaklsterdam hope to see your red eyes and smiling faces around the campus sooon!

Cali Academy of Sciences

2009-02-23T01:11:00.030+08:00

This place was possible the most far out place i had been to (without having to pay for it). now normally when people say the words, Academy, Sciences and Fun all in the same sentence you would just play it off as some kinda lame joke. But believe me when i say the California Academy of Sciences is super fun and i promise if you dont go there high you are bound to learn something new. this place was like a zoo / aquarium / planetarium / museum / art gallery all put together under the same roof. unfortunately we did not have enough time to look at everything. here is some of what we did see though.

the extremely long line had me thinking this place could possible live up to the hype

a map was needed

Chow time

Pretty fish

Ugly fish

Star fish

Jelly fish

The roof had all kinds of stuff growing on it

A possible cure for AIDS?

"save the world from"

the idea board had people coming up with some very interesting ideas!

We stayed untill the doors closed. i could have spent soo much time in there looking at all the rad things. if you are ever in sf go to this place (the third wednesday of every month is the free day) i suggest you plan you trip around it!

Chemistry 50A

2009-02-17T10:17:00.009+08:00

what can i say.... i hate this class with a passion. chemistry is super lame/boring and extremely hard but the icing on the cake is the class has two teachers (one for the lecture and one for the laboratory class) and both of them are Foreigners and suck at teaching in english

One of them speaks like this....

and the other teacher speaks like this...

needless to say when they are trying to teach you things like this...

Shittt gets to be pretty mind boggling. i guess the hole point of this post is to find someone/anyone that knows something/anything about chemistry to help me NOT fail this class because the way im going now its F-ville for me.

Sure to be an entertaining read

2009-02-17T08:37:00.006+08:00

"Mike Tyson is quietly meeting with publishers in an effort to shop a tell-all memoir, and the early indications are that the book will focus as much on the three years he spent in prison after he was convicted of rape as it will on his 20-year boxing career.
According to the New York Post, Tyson actually began the process of writing a memoir while he was in prison, and he used his cellmate as his sounding board
Tyson has shopped his book proposal to five major publishers. The Post suggests that Tyson, who declared bankruptcy in 2003 after earning more than $300 million in his career, could fetch $4 million for his memoirs."

I think if you had never ever herd of Mike Tyson before (extremely unlikey) just one look at the picture above would probably make you think, "if that dude wrote a book about himself it would definitely be worth reading!" when this upcoming autobiography was brought to my attention i could help but think it was just a rumor. i said to myself, "Mike Tyson most likely couldnt even read a book let alone write one." but after futher research the rumors were confermed. obviously he needs money big time!

DONE

2009-01-23T14:25:00.001+08:00

George W. will be missed

Christmas Time...

2008-12-28T01:50:00.009+08:00

is not really that much of an important time once you hit the age of about 16 - 17. it might seem like it is because it's still shoved in your face from the start of November. but really unless you are some super sweet 16 type (aka spoiled) you aint set to pick up many good presents at all.

this year santa didnt fail in bringing me nothing in the presents department. but something Christmas Time did bring was basketball. nba fans like myself were treated to 5 games Christmas Day one after another. and i was lucky enough to watch nearly all of them. so my day in picture kinda went like this

The only type of tree i mess with on christmas!

Gotta have beverages on the special day

Hoops

Hoops

And more Hoops

Merry Christmas kids
Lookin forward to this new year..

So Unnecessary

2008-12-05T09:27:00.004+08:00

I cant believe i didnt think of this. but then again i didnt think there was anyone out there stupid enough that they think they need to buy a book to tell them how to blog. this just goes to show you really can make money off people's stupidity/ignorance. im quite interested in speaking to a reader of this book firstly to ask them why in gods name do you need a book to tell you how to express your veiws and all the other things blogging intales and secondly why they think a bunch middle aged professers will give the best advice on the subject. although im not taking into account how many "nerdy" bloggers and future bloggers there are that would think this book is a great investment, but still gimma a break.

Something for all you Weed Heads

2008-12-04T06:00:00.013+08:00

World's oldest marijuana stash totally busted
Two pounds of still-green weed found in a 2,700-year-old Gobi Desert gravesite

"Nearly two pounds of still-green plant material found in a 2,700-year-old grave in the Gobi Desert has just been identified as the world's oldest marijuana stash, according to a paper in the latest issue of the Journal of Experimental Botany.
A barrage of tests proves the marijuana possessed potent psychoactive properties and casts doubt on the theory that the ancients only grew the plant for hemp in order to make clothing, rope and other objects. Lead author Ethan Russo told Discovery News that the marijuana "is quite similar" to what's grown today.
"We know from both the chemical analysis and genetics that it could produce THC (tetrahydrocannabinolic acid synthase, the main psychoactive chemical in the plant)," he explained, adding that no one could feel its effects today, due to decomposition over the millennia.
Russo served as a visiting professor at the Chinese Academy of Sciences Institute of Botany while conducting the study. He and his international team analyzed the cannabis, which was excavated at the Yanghai Tombs near Turpan, China. It was found lightly pounded in a wooden bowl in a leather basket near the head of a blue-eyed Caucasian man who died when he was about 45.
"This individual was buried with an unusual number of high value, rare items," Russo said, mentioning that the objects included a make-up bag, bridles, pots, archery equipment and a kongou harp. The researchers believe the individual was a shaman from the Gushi people, who spoke a now-extinct language called Tocharian that was similar to Celtic.
Scientists originally thought the plant material in the grave was coriander, but microscopic botanical analysis of the bowl contents, along with genetic testing, revealed that it was cannabis. The size of seeds mixed in with the leaves, along with their color and other characteristics, indicate the marijuana came from a cultivated strain. Before the burial, someone had carefully picked out all of the male plant parts, which are less psychoactive, so Russo and his team believe there is little doubt as to why the cannabis was grown. What is in question, however, is how the marijuana was administered, since no pipes or other objects associated with smoking were found in the grave.
"Perhaps it was ingested orally," Russo said. "It might also have been fumigated, as the Scythian tribes to the north did subsequently."
Although other cultures in the area used hemp to make various goods as early as 7,000 years ago, additional tomb finds indicate the Gushi fabricated their clothing from wool and made their rope out of reed fibers. The scientists are unsure if the marijuana was grown for more spiritual or medical purposes, but it's evident that the blue-eyed man was buried with a lot of it. "As with other grave goods, it was traditional to place items needed for the afterlife in the tomb with the departed," Russo said.
The ancient marijuana stash is now housed at Turpan Museum in China. In the future, Russo hopes to conduct further research at the Yanghai site, which has 2,000 other tombs."

This was the most amazing article i have come across in a very long time. it all pretty much speaks for itself, but its was a very interesting read and i hope everyone enjoyed at as much as i did. oh and how good it the title they gave it. now i must go and do like our ancestors did!

P Diddy the Next Bond!?

2008-12-03T00:23:00.004+08:00

So I stumbled across this great atricle.

You have got to be kidding me. The day there is a black bond is the day anti-racism has gone too far. I thought a black kid playing Bob Dylan as a child in the smash hit 'I'm Not There' was bad enough but this really puts the mud on the coconut cake so to speak. Next thing we know Ice Cube will be auditioning for Superman and Samuel L. Jackson will be winning awards for being the first black Batman. The answer to your question is, lay off Puff Daddy, just LAY OFF!

Athletes and Guns

2008-12-02T03:54:00.009+08:00

"Plaxico Burress, NFL's New York Giants’ controversial wide receiver, accidentally shot himself in the right thigh at a Manhattan night club last night where he was partying with teammate Antonio Pierce, a source told the Daily News.
The 31-year-old Burress spent the night in a local hospital with what one source described as “a non-life-threatening wound”. The Giants, in a statement released by the team this afternoon, called it “an apparent accidental shooting.” He was released from the hospital at approximately 2 p.m.
Burress, the police said, did not have a permmit to carry a gun in New York City. A law Enforcement offical said that the gun, a Glock semiautomatic pistol, was recovered at Burress' home in Totowa, New Jersey."

Plax.

Looking in from another country you might think its pretty amazing how insane professional athletes in the US are. in the 4 or 5 months sinces ive been back 3 other NFL players have been involved in shootings. but if you kinda read between the lines its not all that suprising. obviously all the of the players involved are black and normally come from the same hoods as most major rappers. they have gone through all the same shit they just have a different tallent. so growing up around guns and all that negativity you are bound to feel like you have to protect yourself even more cause of your fame, fortune, and also old hommies being jealous of your sucess.

But still thats no excuse for shooting yourself!

Reviewn'

2008-11-30T23:50:00.007+08:00

Music

808s and Heartbreak

Let me be the first to say Not A Fan. i listened to this album on a girls dicsman at school, the first time id used one for like 10 years and sadly that was the highlight of the experience. "mainstream shit," is what popped into my mind while that week electronic fucking T-Pain type voice was rininging toughout my head. i thought, hmmmmm maybe Kanye is mixing shit up on this track but it turns out he uses that electronic voice in very song bar one. it was such a let down. i really just felt bad for Keyshia (the owner of the discman) cause she wasted $12 on that junk. although i must say i've been impressed lately with Kanye's actions towards the media and people in general that be gettin into his shit. this ablum just did not cut it for a hip hop lover like myself.

The Renaissance

i always have huge expectations of Tip because of how good A Tribe Called Quest were and how timeless their music is. The Renaissance is his second solo ablum and its not all that bad. ofcourse you get Tip's usual thoughtprovoking lyricism but i was suprised about the quality of the beats. although nothing really stuck out to me this is the perfect album to smoke some weed and chillout on if your down for something new that you may not have herd before.

Books

Fearless Jones by Walter Mosley

Reading this was a much better experience that what i went through with that Kanye album. Set in the late 50's in LA this book is about two black men one being Fearless Jones (who is fresh outa jail) and the other Paris Milton. Paris gets into some trouble because of a girl. Fearless is left to sort out the troubles and the rest is history....alot of sex, money and murders = very entratining.

Bailed On

2008-11-29T09:14:00.007+08:00

it has come to my attention that both other members of Longies & Forties have decided their lives are way too cool for this spot and the only option was to created their own blogs. so basically, to try and keep the small audience this blog has i gotta step my game up and im all for it. i wish Scagnetti all the best with 'Seymour Scagnetti' and Hank Lamington with the come back of 'sez-you.' now its time to do work.

General

2008-11-29T07:41:00.038+08:00

In my opinion this is the funniest man on calbe tv.

Delicious

what more could you ask for

Goodwill super store is very feasible

OBAMAAAAA Madness has hit SF and im sure its going down in other major cities around the US. heres a example of how much you see his face Daily...

its amazing the amount of props Obama is getting especially because the dude hasnt done a thing for this country yet. dont get me wrong i ain't mad at people for it and being black makes this hole thing even better but its obvious a lot of peeps are just cashing in and thats not cool. im sure these are the same people that will start to dissin' him the first time he fucks up (and something will go down). i really just wish that brother the best. HOPE! cant forget about Hillary

Shits raw

Seymour Scagnetti's playhouse

2008-11-27T06:28:00.004+08:00

Since last night my blog has now been taken off private and is open for judgement.

Scagnetti

Get into it.

It and a few others have also been added to the blog lords section.

Be about them.

Summer Lovin's

2008-11-09T09:03:00.000+08:00

The Gangster Project!

2008-11-08T20:46:00.005+08:00

Some of you realer nig-nogs may remember when this epic trailer dropped a few years back. Forget your canvas bags, your vans slip ons,your american apparel tees and your corderoy pants. This is what perth skateborading used to be about. Consider yourself lucky the whole video didnt actually get finished and released. It would have been responsible for hundreds of drive-bys and exploding heads and ultimately the deaths of all your friends & family. This is the most gangster thing you will ever witness.

maybe 2012

2008-11-08T20:40:00.000+08:00

Won pt.3

2008-11-06T17:26:00.002+08:00

won pt.2

2008-11-06T07:14:00.009+08:00

i did...

and got a sticker for my efforts

the end.

best blogever.

2008-11-05T18:22:00.000+08:00

Thedeadbaby.blogspot.com

won

2008-11-05T17:38:00.003+08:00

Choke.

2008-11-04T11:48:00.003+08:00

Choke is a beauuuuutiful fucking piece of film. Iza greaayy farrken moyvieee. Clark gregg really debuted a winner with this one. This movie did not dissapoint in the slightest. Chuck palahniuk's humour really is the best kind of humour.

See this movie at once!

5 (gillion) stars

My weekend in two minutes and thirty one seconds.

2008-11-03T09:34:00.001+08:00

My Short stories - Volume 1

2008-10-27T23:35:00.005+08:00

Good Mourning Brain

I wake up to another sunrise. Lips stuck together like glue and sticky eyes that barely open. I couldn't sleep last night. I know I had no sleep because I feel just as tired as when I went to bed. Everything annoys me 200 times more then it usually would when I've had a bad sleep. The clinging and banging of the pans from the unknown unwelcome friend of this girl I brang home with me last night, who somehow I force-fed enough alcohol to convince what I'd hoped was a she, to sleep with me. As I turned over to face away from her she lightly scratched me on the arm with her long red broken fingernail, it hurts me and annoys me. She breaths heavily and everytime the scratch throbs I feel like she is directly insulting my religion, not that i follow one. Religion is for people who need to find a way, a light at the end of the tunnel, a glimmer of hope. Hope is not what I needed or wanted, Hope is not the key to freedom, freedom comes without hope. I try to recollect what happened last night but I cant peice together much, I had a feeling it didnt go so well but I brought a girl home so I cant complain.
I have absolutely no clue as to what she looks like or what her name is. I wonder if we'd had sex and I reach down to feel I'm still wearing a condom, not filled with anything. Sex has become mediocre for me. Everytime I'm having it my mind begins a questionaire and I drift off into my own world, whats my favourite movie, favourite color, favourite book, favourite actor, career opportunities, what should I do tomorrow, Is she enjoying this, how much have I drank, have I gone soft, did she just cum, will she cum, what would be my ideal proffession, probably an actor seeing as how I'm doing it half the time anyway. It used to be so I could last longer but has now gone way beyond that. I get out of bed avoiding eye contact and pray shes still asleep. I have a shower and turn the music on so she doesnt hear me leave. I feel it's risky leaving 2 people I barely know or better yet remember in my own house alone but I'd rather have all my valuables stolen then have to experience that 10 minutes of social awkwardness that always comes with one night stand sex. I begin to cringe when I think about whether or not this girl will be a cling on. I brang her home last night because I was drunk and horny and thats as far as I wish to take it.
I'm on my way to a place about 15 minutes away to get an X-ray done on my dislocated knee. I look in almost every passing and oncoming car hoping to see somebody I know so they know I'm still alive. I see one of my best friends Norman who I have known forever. This brings back horrible memories of last night. He turns his head away from me and I feel beside myself. It was his girlfriend who I had brought home, not slept with, but the friend of the one I did sleep with & I can imagine just how it must have looked, me violently drunk taking his girlfriend and her best friend home to have some sex party that he wasnt a part of. They had been fighting all night and I was on his side until I realised I would have to change teams if I was getting any action tonight. I try to give him a sympathetic look but the lights turn green and he's gone before I can make anymore eye contact. Preppy fuck he is anyway. He'll get over it.
I arrive at the Radioligist's and talk to the girl at the counter. She is young and looks clueless, she's cute but I avoid flirting with her because shes at least 6 years younger. I dont do more then 5. One of my many 'politically correct' morals I have taken up. Before too long the radioloigist calls me through, she looks like some kind of witch off a movie like The Wizard of OZ. She tells me my pants are too tight before saying Hi and that I must take my jeans off and wear a robe. I walk into the little changing room and take off my jeans, aswell as my underwear to irritate her and make it a little more exciting for myself. She calls out "What are you doing" and I find it hard not to yell back something witty, but nothing comes to mind in time. I come out of the changing room with a twisted grin on my face and lay down on the cold plastic table. She lifts my knee adjusting it on a mat for the x-ray. I wonder if she's seen under my robe yet. This excites me. She walks out of the room and tells me to move again, this time onto my side, then she returns a second time and tells me to get on my hands and knees. I turn over and prop myself up as if I'm about to get my prostate checked. I know shes seen what I've had ready for her this time and her expression changes. Just as I wanted, she looks disgusted and I feel the latter. This is the last of the x-ray and she tells me I'm okay to leave. She walks me out and gives me an arroused grin as I pay my bill and am told when the x-rays should be ready for pickup. I no longer feel satisfied and I regret removing my underwear. I feel dirty, like some little kid who firsts hears about 'the french kiss' and slips his tongue in his Mother's mouth when she kisses him goodnight.
Next up is the Doctor's for more knee examinations. I sit in the waiting room cringing at every other sorry looking soul sitting with me, staring at me. I feel myself cringing over half the time I am out in public lately. One teenage boy wont stop looking at me and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face everytime I turn my head. I look at him, judging him until he gets scared enough and looks away. He is dressed in a pair of faded old sweatpants and an equally as faded t-shirt boasting about how much he drinks. People with no fashion sense disgust me, If you cant present yourself nicely then what can you do. As if there mothers never taught them how to dress, tie there shoe-laces, make their lunch. Dependance appauls me. Man was made to be Independant & If you cant enjoy your own company then you cant enjoy anything. I stop and wonder how I have grown this deep hate for the world. I feel it has something to do with the way the government treats it's people, and the way weak people crumble under their government, bums, lowlifes, people who cant think for themselves and must have everything handed to them. Authority and the way they abuse their power, the way they can push us around because we aren't police. They to used to be like us. Powerless. There are a few ways I feel I get back at governemt and authourity and the powers that be. Shoplifiting being one of them. I can no longer walk inside a store without shoplifting anymore or I will leave feeling cheated. Nowhere is sacred anymore not even Salvation stores. Not as if the money really goes to charity anyway. Just back to the powers that be, the money-making masterminds behind 'Christianity'. If I cant shoplift I'll have to at least swap the tags. Its the bigger franchises I get the most satisfaction stealing from though. Wiping it right in their little faces that I didnt pay for their item they put the price up on by over 100%. Other things include graffiti, not paying taxes, avoiding fines and being unemployed for as long as I was.
I open up a copy Time magazine and begin to read an article about the movie Iron Man. Apparently it didnt get the real point of what it should have been about across. Apparently it should have been about how the war on terrorism can only be solved with the biggest and most hi-tech weapons and is basically just a big video game, but instead it was about solving conflict and cutting off arms dealers to terrorists. You'd think the dipshit editors at Mr. Big Time magazine would realise movies made about comics shouldn't be taken so literally. A baby begins to cry and for a while I hear only that. Over the loud screams and cries I hear a voice shout a name that sounds similar to mine. I look up and my short stubby asian doctor is looking at me. I follow him into his office and he asks me whats wrong with his always caring eyes.

- By Scagnetti

Guts

2008-10-19T21:12:00.007+08:00

What got me in trouble, I called it Pearl Diving. This meant whacking off underwater, sitting on the bottom at the deep end of my parents' swimming pool. With one deep breath, I'd kick my way to the bottom and slip off my swim trucks. I'd sit down there for two, three, four minutes.
Just from jacking off I had huge lung capacity. If I had the house to myself, I'd do this all afternoon. After I'd finally pump out my stuff, my sperm, it would hang there in big, fat, milky gobs.
After that was more diving, to catch it all. To collect it and wipe each handful in a towel. That's why it was called Pearl Diving. Even with chlorine, there was my sister to worry about. Or, Christ almighty, my Mom.
That used to be my worst fear in the world. My teenage virgin sister, thinking she's just getting fat, then giving birth to a two-headed, retard baby. Both heads looking just like me. Me, the father and the uncle. In the end, it's never what you worry about that gets you.
The best part of Pearl Diving was the inlet port for the swimming pool filter and the circulation pump. The best part was getting naked and sitting on it.
As the French would say, Who doesn't like getting their butt sucked? Still, one minute you're just a kid getting off, and the next minute you'll never be a lawyer.
One minute I'm settling on the pool bottom and the sky is wavy, light blue through eight feet of water above my head. The world is silent except for the heartbeat in my ears. My yellow striped swim trunks are looped around my neck for safe keeping, just in case a friend, a neighbour, anybody shows up to ask why I skipped football practice. The steady suck of the pool inlet hole is lapping at me and I'm grinding my skinny white ass around on that feeling.
One minute I've got enough air and my dick's in my hand. My folks are gone at their work and my sister's got ballet. Nobodies supposed to be home for hours.
My hand brings me right to getting off, and I stop. I swim up to catch another big breath. I dive down and settle on the bottom.
I do this again and again.
This must be why girls want to sit on your face. The suction is like taking a dump that never ends. My dick hard and getting my butt eaten out, I do not need air. My heartbeat in my ears, I stay under until bright stars of light start worming around in my eyes. My legs straight out, the back of each knee rubbed raw against the concrete bottom. My toes are turning blue, my toes and fingers wrinkled from being so long in the water.
And then I let it happen. The big white gobs start spouting. The pearls. It's then I need some air. But when I go to kick off against the bottom, I can't. I can't get my feet under me. My ass is stuck.
Emergency paramedics will tell you that every year about 150 people get stuck this way, sucked by a circulation pump. Get your long hair caught, or your ass, and you're going to drown. Every year, tons of people do. Most of them in Florida.
People just don't talk about it. Not even French people talk about everything. Getting one knee up, getting one foot tucked under me, I get to half standing when I feel the tug against my butt. Getting my other foot under me, I kick off against the bottom. I'm kicking free, not touching the concrete, but not getting to the air, either.
Still kicking water, thrashing with both arms, I'm maybe halfway to the surface but not going higher. The heartbeat inside my head getting loud and fast.
The bright sparks of light crossing and crisscrossing my eyes, I turn and look back ... but it doesn't make sense. This thick rope, some kind of snake, blue-white and braided with veins, has come up out of the pool drain and it's holding on to my butt. Some of the veins are leaking blood, red blood that looks black underwater and drifts away from little rips in the pale skin of the snake. The blood trails away, disappearing in the water, and inside the snake's thin, blue-white skin you can see lumps of some half-digested meal.
That's the only way this makes sense. Some horrible sea monster, a sea serpent, something that's never seen the light of day, it's been hiding in the dark bottom of the pool drain, waiting to eat me.
So ...I kick at it, at the slippery, rubbery knotted skin and veins of it, and more of it seems to pull out of the pool drain. It's maybe as long as my leg now, but still holding tight around my butthole. With another kick, I'm an inch closer to getting another breath. Still feeling the snake tug at my ass, I'm an inch closer to my escape.
Knotted inside the snake, you can see corn and peanuts. You can see a long bright-orange ball. It's the kind of horse-pill vitamin my dad makes me take, to help put on weight. To get a football scholarship. With extra iron and omega three fatty acids.
It's seeing that vitamin pill that saves my life.
It's not a snake. It's my large intestine, my colon pulled out of me. What doctors call prolapsed. It's my guts sucked into the drain.
Paramedics will tell you a swimming pool pump pulls 80 gallons of water every minute. That's about 400 pounds of pressure. The big problem is we're all connected together inside. Your ass is just the far end of your mouth. If I let go, the pump keeps working-unraveling my insides until it's got my tongue. Imagine taking a 400-pound shit and you can see how this might turn you inside out.
What I can tell you is your guts don't feel much pain. Not the way your skin feels pain. The stuff you're digesting, doctors call it fecal matter. Higher up is chyme, pockets of a thin, runny mess studded with corn and peanuts and round green peas.
That's all this soup of blood and corn, shit and sperm and peanuts floating around me. Even with my guts unravel¬ing out my ass, me holding on to what's left, even then my first want is to somehow get my swimsuit back on.
God forbid my folks see my dick.
My one hand holding a fist around my ass, my other hand snags my yellow striped swim trunks and pulls them from around my neck. Still, getting into them is impossible.
You want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of those lambskin condoms. Take one out and unroll it. Pack it with peanut butter. Smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it under water. Then try to tear it. Try to pull it in half. It's too tough and rubbery. It's so slimy you can't hold on.
A lambskin condom, that's just plain old intestine.
You can see what I'm up against.
You let go for a second and you're gutted.
You swim for the surface, for a breath, and you're gutted.
You don't swim and you drown.
It's a choice between being dead right now or a minute from right now.
What my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus, curled in on itself. Floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. Tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. The opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. This is the baby they brought home from the hospital 13 years ago. Here's the kid they hoped would snag a football scholarship and get an MBA. Who'd care for them in their old age. Here's all their hopes and dreams. Floating here, naked and dead. All around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.
Either that or my folks will find me wrapped in a bloody towel, collapsed halfway from the pool to the kitchen telephone, the ragged, torn scrap of my guts still hanging out the leg of my yellow striped swim trunks.
What even the French won't talk about.
That big brother in the Navy, he taught us one other good phrase. A Russian phrase. The way we say, "I need that like I need a hole in my head...," Russian people say, "I need that like I need teeth in my asshole......

Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse.

Those stories about how animals caught in a trap will chew off their leg, well, any coyote would tell you a couple bites beats the hell out of being dead.
Hell ... even if you're Russian, someday you just might want those teeth.
Otherwise, what you have to do is you have to twist around. You hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. You bite and snap at your own ass. You run out of air and you will chew through anything to get that next breath.
It's not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. Not if you expect a kiss good night. If I told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari.
It's hard to say what my parents were more disgusted by: how I'd got in trouble or how I'd saved myself. After the hospital, my mom said, "You didn't know what you were doing, honey. You were in shock." And she learned how to cook poached eggs.
All those people grossed out or feeling sorry for me....
I need that like I need teeth in my asshole.
Nowadays, people always tell me I look too skinny. People at dinner parties get all quiet and pissed off when I don't eat the pot roast they cooked. Pot roast kills me. Baked ham. Anything that hangs around inside my guts for longer than a couple of hours, it comes out still food. Home-cooked lima beans or chunk light tuna fish, I'll stand up and find it still sitting there in the toilet.
After you have a radical bowel resectioning, you don't digest meat so great. Most people, you have five feet of large intestine. I'm lucky to have my six inches. So I never got a football scholarship. Never got an MBA. Both my friends, the wax kid and the carrot kid, they grew up, got big, but I've never weighed a pound more than I did that day when I was 13.
Another big problem was my folks paid a lot of good money for that swimming pool. In the end my dad just told the pool guy it was a dog. The family dog fell in and drowned. The dead body got pulled into the pump. Even when the pool guy cracked open the filter casing and fished out a rubbery tube, a watery hank of intestine with a big orange vitamin pill still inside, even then my dad just said, "That dog was fucking nuts."
Even from my upstairs bedroom window, you could hear my dad say, "We couldn't trust that dog alone for a second...."
Then my sister missed her period.
Even after they changed the pool water, after they sold the house and we moved to another state, after my sister's abortion, even then my folks never mentioned it again.

Ever. - taken from Chuck Palahniuk's 'Guts'

The Seinfeld Tour?

2008-10-17T04:42:00.008+08:00

So I was on the bus on the way to school when I saw the Seinfeld Campus Tour bus. I was shocked and amazed by this bus. It was just chillin' in a parking lot near my house. I had so many questions like, what the hell is this Seinfeld bus? Will it still be there when I get home? Will I be able to meet Jason Alexander and give him props? Will I be able to meet Michael Richards and lash him like there was no tomorrow?
Well it was still there when I got home so I rushed there to get my questions answered. After knocking on the bus door for 10 minutes I realized no one was home. There was a website on the side so I decided I'll just peep that when I get home. It turns out the Seinfeld campus tour is just a big bus that is going around America to different colleges (but not mine) giving away black and white cookies, snickers and twix bars to students and that's it nothing more nothing less.
If you ask me the whole idea is pretty lame I mean the bus is really cool looking but that's about all.

Burn After Reading

2008-10-16T22:40:00.003+08:00

So I just got home from seeing the Coen's brothers latest Burn After Reading & I gotta tell you, It's a Beautiful fucking movie. I'm having some serious trouble deciding wether or not I liked No Country for Old Men or this more. I think I will have to choose this because No Country didnt star Frances McDormand. Who is possibly the best female actor ever (who is old). Brad Pitt also ruled in it as he always does when he isnt playing a heart-throb. Clooney continued being the sexiest man alive and I walked out of the cinema not hating John Malkovich, which is not an easy task after seeing his role in Rounders. The way he loses his mind on the phone time & time again is very good entertainment. Tilda Swinton is as always an annoying, arrogant, shit-eating dropkick with a nose like Satan's throbbing member. The best thing about this movie was the unexpected things that happen,when you see the Brad pitt scene in the wardrobe you will understand completely. I highly recommend this masterpiece. A movie you will definetily not want to Burn after watching.

5 stars lad.

ps. You can fuck off with your 'what if I wanted to like burn it so I could watch it again' comments

vacation

2008-10-16T05:28:00.003+08:00

so we decided to get on a train and go down and check out Los Angeles. obviously was a good idea. but i could only stay down there for 3 days cuase i have school commitments and all crap unless some hollywood agent discovered my amazing talents and demaned i stay there and make some sort of movie but sadly that didnt go down like that but it was still goood times...

Our carrier of choice

GFL on the line

freights also got a mention

Steeele

thank god for the arcade room on the train or we would have been board as hell!

after the long train ride we got to our hostel. it was pretty much full of asians and euro's there was one black dude. he was bifff so reilly nicknamed him bbc (big black cunt)

Downtown

oddly shaped buses get a mention

lalaland

venice beach

shopping

street drinking went down

as did weed smoking

santa monica

a car is so necessary in this city.

Look Alikes

2008-10-15T23:31:00.004+08:00

Yes I know the whole look alike thing has been done already but I thought I'd add another great look alike for Mr Ben Wood.

Dislocator

2008-10-15T15:30:00.003+08:00

You know you're a foolish drunk when you wake up hungover under a bed in a scummy hotel room on a tuesday morning with a knee looking like this.

Little did the big gods of karma know I can now legitimately rock a pimp limp and a cane out for the coming 2 weeks.

ps. You other 2 dipshits who are allegedly part of this blog better get your act together. 7 posts in a row & I'm 1 post away from abandoning your asses & making my own supercool blog.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Toilet Pipes

2008-10-14T20:20:00.004+08:00

Yesterday afternoon we began our Journey to the Centre of the Earth

Tunnel Vision

These tunnels aren't really as big as your shows like Tennage Mutant Ninja Turtles make them out to be. We had our hearts set on some Melbourne stormwater drains type shit. We were wrong & we were claustraphobic.

The dust masks served a purpose.

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We ended up crawling about 200 metres in and each painted in the circle stairwells. Little did we know there would be no air ventilation what so ever.

Painting like this proved to be hard work considering how shakey I became after inhaling about 2 litres of paint fumes.

There was so much paint fumes that our torch turned in a lightsaber. Use the torch!

We all inhaled a stupid amount of paint. I now know exactly how a daysh feels everyday of their life.

Wizard of Oz's Tin-man

After this we went and wasted our welfare checks on cheap wine and White ox.

Saturday night by Whigfield

2008-10-12T22:34:00.002+08:00

I captured this last night on the way from Myplace to Seizan's.
I felt real sorry for this poor blonde girl.
She was the most visibly upset I have ever seen anyone in my life.
Ahhhhh to be young.

Look A-likes

2008-10-09T13:24:00.004+08:00

Scagnetti's top 5 most epic tracks

2008-10-08T23:30:00.004+08:00

5: The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning by The Smashing Pumpkins

This song truly rocks socks. The bass line near the beginning makes me want to smash my head through bulletproof glass everytime I hear it. It has also been used in Batman & Robin (easily the worst Batman film ever) and the highly anticipated Watchmen Trailer. Its a shame the movie it was first used in wasnt as awesome as this song.
Joel Schumacher gives us our well deserved apologies.

4: Where Is My Mind by The Pixies

This song gives me goosebumps. One of those only songs you can listen to 1 billion times and never get sick of. The lyrics rule, the riff rules, the movie Fight Club it was used in rules & I'ts probably the only song thats been used over rolling credits that doesnt leave you feeling awkward with a retarted grin on your face walking out of the cinema not knowing what to do with your hands.

3: Perfect Day by Lou Reed

This is a song you would either want played while you are O.D'ing on heroin and falling through the floor, going head to head with a semi trailer in slow motion or at your own funeral. This is great music.

2: In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins

This song was written whilst he was going through his divorce and apparently he was real pissed about it all. This was very very close to being my number one. If the song was as intense as the 5 second drum beat 3 minutes 20 seconds in it would have easily gotten there.When I break up with someone I'm going to make sure this song is playing in the background. If there was a video clip I could remake starring myself this would definetily be it.

1: Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd

This was easily my number 1 pick and easily my favourite Pink Floyd song. This is probably the closest to perfect a song can get. The guitar the lyrics and everything else are flawless. It's written about ex band member Syd Barret's turn into a recluse. Each verse blows my hair back.In a perfect world all music would be this good & we wouldnt have to listen to some pre-buscent little dipshits singing about playing ping pong.
Please play this at my funeral.

What are your top 5?

Mr. Scumbag's date with Karma.

2008-10-06T21:05:00.004+08:00

Last friday night out the front of Dorcia things got a bit rough & a few punches were getting thrown when our big hero below decided to show up.
Soon after this I experienced the most savage & well timed serving of Karma I have and will probably ever see again.
Toughguy walked up & down the street hitting anybody in the way (inlcuding me) rambling about someone trying to fight his cousin (who I'm sure is equally as much of a dropkick)when suddenly he decided to hit the wrong guy. Who in return knocked his 2 front teeth out & sent him unconscious to the floor where he remained a paraplegic until the police showed up and arrested him. Which was then followed by him scrambling around on the floor like an Eel wollowing & crying about how it was unfair & that he didnt do anything wrong. We all stood around enjoying this & throwing in our 2 cents every few seconds as he was getting dragged off to the paddy wagon (where I'm quite sure the police would have delivered there own little bit of poetic justice) about how he would be better off dead & how his long & painful death would be very well received.
Friday night was an eye-opener & did a good job in restoring some of my faith in humanity.

Spot the Difference:

Correct, there is none.

Judd Apatow

2008-09-23T19:37:00.001+08:00

The man is a Genius.

King of King's

2008-09-18T13:26:00.003+08:00

"Tens of thousands of chanting, bare-breasted maidens have paraded before the King of Swaziland, many of them hoping to catch his eye and be picked out to become his 14th wife.

The annual Umhlanga, or reed dance, which finishes today at the royal residence in Ludzidzini, is a magnificent display of national tradition and pride in one of Africa's smallest countries.Officials claimed that 100,000 unmarried girls and women, almost 10 per cent of the entire population, presented the Queen Mother, or Indlovukazi meaning, "Great She-Elephant" with newly cut reeds to act as a windbreak around her compound.

As part of the ceremonies, Mswati III, Africa's last absolute monarch, is entitled to choose a new bride from among the maidens to add to his current 13 wives. It is an honour that cannot be refused"

Some of the local Swaziland women dancing for the kings love

The King himself (looks like kind of a freek if you ask me)

The real sad thing about this is Swaziland is believed to have the highest rate of HIV/Aids in the world, with two in every five pregnant women carrying the virus. Life expectancy is just over 30. A baby born in Swaziland today has almost a 75 per cent chance of dying before 40 and while all this is going down the king of this country is to busy choosing his 14th wife.
Oh and you might say to yourself, "well you cant blame him for having all of these wife's, it must be a long running tradition in Swaziland". Well the truth is the King Mswati started this "tradition" in 1999 the same year he became king!

Welcome to America

2008-09-17T02:43:00.004+08:00

Yes its true the imfamous Steven Reilly has arrived in the States. So all you girls out there be quick to get you a piece because he aint gonna be chillin around these streets forever!

"Yeh I felt it"

2008-09-07T00:46:00.010+08:00

"A 4.0 earthquake centered in Alamo along the Calaveras Fault shook San Francisco and the East Bay Friday night.

The U.S. Geological Survey reported the quake at 9 p.m., four miles northwest of Danville and seven miles south of Concord in Contra Costa County. It was felt as a sharp rumble that lasted about seven seconds. An aftershock, measuring 1.9, followed shortly after.

The light quake halted BART trains (Bay Area Rail Transit) for about five minutes. According to the U.S.G.S., the quake had a depth of 10.1 miles, and residents as far away as San Jose and Stockton reported feeling a jolt."

So I was actually chillin' smoking a doobie when the pussy little quake hit, I mean I felt something. What i felt was pretty weird and I'll admit my heart fluttered for a second but a 4.0 is on the small side of the scale. Its funny though later on in the night on the 12 o'clock news they were asking people "so how will you prepare for a bigger earthquake sir/mam?" Come on, how the hell do you prepare for an earthquak. They just happen nobody knows when or where, they just go down, idiots. Apparently when I was one or so a 7.8 earthquake went down in san francisco and a few peeps died and shit. I wish I could remember it because it sounds pretty gnarly. Anyway, good times.

Curtin's p.o.p exhibition

2008-09-04T18:30:00.009+08:00

Last friday night we went to
Violet's class's exhibition at Curtin.

Lets just say names were mentioned.

I've been smoking a shitload of weed lately.

2008-09-01T12:56:00.004+08:00

"In 1937, weed was placed under the harrison narcotics act. Narcotics authorities claim it is a habit-forming drug, that its use is injurious to mind and body, and that is causes the people who use it to commit crimes. Here are the facts: Weed is positively not habit-forming. You can smoke weed for years and you will experience no discomfort if your supply is suddenly cut off. I have seen tea heads (stoners) in jail and none of them showed withdrawal symptoms. I have smoked weed myself off and on for fifteen years. and never missed it when I ran out. There is less habit to weed than there is to tobacco. Weed does not harm the general health. In fact, most users claim it gives you an appetite and acts as a tonic to the system. I do not know of any other agent that gives as definite a boot to the appetite. I can smoke a stick of tea (weed) and enjoy a glass of California sherry and a hash house meal.
I once kicked a junk habit with weed. The second day off junk I sat down and ate a full meal. Ordinarily, I can't eat for eight days after kicking a habit.
Weed does not inspire anyone to commit crimes. I have never seen anyone get nasty under the influence of weed. Tea heads are a sociable lot. Too sociable for my liking. I cannot understand why the people who claim weed causes crimes do not follow through and demand the outlawing of alcohol. Every day, crimes are committed by drunks who would not have committed the crime sober.
There has been a lot said about the aphrodisiac effect of weed. For some reason, scientists dislike to admit that there is such thing as an aphrodisiac, so most pharmacologists say there is "No evidence to support the popular idea that weed possesses aphrodisiac properties." I can say definitely that weed is an aphrodisiac and that sex is more enjoyable under the influence of weed than without it.
Anyone who has used good weed will verify this statement.
You hear that people go insane from using weed. There is, In fact, a form of insanity caused by excessive use of weed. The condition is characterized by ideas of reference. The weed available in the U.S. is evidently not strong enough to blow your top on and weed psychosis is rare in the states. In the Near East, it is said to be common. Weed psychosis corresponds more or less to delirium tremens and quickly disappears when the drug is withdrawn. Someone who smokes a few cigarettes a day is no more likely to go insane than a man who takes a few cocktails before dinner is likely to come down with the D.T.'s.
One thing about weed. A man under the influence of weed is completely unfit to drive a car. Weed disturbs your sense of time and consequently your sense of spatial relations. Once, in New Orleans, I had to pull over to the side of a road and wait until the weed wore off. I could not tell how far away anything was or when to turn or put on the brakes for an intersection." - taken from William S. Burroughs's Junky

So basically there is absolutely nothing wrong with smoking weed. It makes everything better, sex, movies, food, music, drinking and even people seem more entertaining.
I also disagree with the not being able to drive statement. Unless you are ridiculously stoned it usually doesn't effect your driving skills.

Its A Stick-up !

2008-08-29T23:00:00.009+08:00

I've been back in the bay area for around a month now and it has been very enjoyable and everything has been running smoothly to say the least, But for local store and restaraunt owners that hasn't been the case. Since August 5th there has been 12 takeover robberies where 2 or 3 niggas would run up in the store around closing time with gats and rob it. So far nobody has been shot, one dude got pistol whipped though (I'd say he was talking shit!)

Map of robberies

By the map you can see that pretty much all the robberies go down in Oakland. Oakland being the city with the largest numbers of black people in the bay area. Anyway I gotta give mad props to these dudes, I mean cops have no suspects so far and one weekend they committed 3 robberies in one night which is just outrageous.

In conclusion I'd like to see this end in some insane way like you see in the movies I just think it would be fitting, like with all the news coverage on it going down. So if any of you niggas robbing shit read this post you know what you gotta do...

All Aboard the SS. Fail

2008-08-26T11:30:00.007+08:00

Beauuutiful fucking day.

These things took forever to inflate.

Lucky the Anaconda feind claimed a pump earlier on in the week.

I was light headed and close to passing out on my weak attempts to blow up the little pillows with my beanbag lungs.

Mowgli from the cast of The Jungle Book was there.

The land lovers set sail while I managed to poke 2 holes in our boat with our palm tree ores.

Canadian club got a mention

"And you thought the Rad Kids had fun!"

Doobies, nachos & being overweight went down.

The land lovers got sea sick.

One too many sea shantys.

We had to make a dash for the shore when our boat began sinking.

I got wet.

The land lords had nothing on our rowing skills.

You can almost tell by the looks on their faces that this is the moment the ranger told us the water was infested with Botulism and a shitload of birds died from it each year.

Our hearts sunk and we left.
Ahhhhhhh to be young.

On Fire !

2008-08-26T07:00:00.001+08:00

A quick run through my illustrious sexual career using fictional characters.

2008-08-23T11:47:00.014+08:00

Batman

This is where it all starts. Bat obviously being a referrence to masturbate

The Flash

Understandably the flash was next. Finishing before it started, 30 seconds and I had thrown in the towel. Playing premature Pete was no fun at all but we all have to start somewhere.

Spawn

Next was Spawn. This is where I began to be able to control myself and learn a little more about what was happening. This was all part of the rise to ultimately

The Terminator

This was the peak of my career. I tore it up, I was hard as cement and not even a high speed pursuit through the sewerage pipe had me throwing in the towel early.
(sewerage pipe being a referrence to you know what.)

The Incredible Hulk

This was my stubborn stage. I couldnt control it and ultimately couldnt ever finish. This sparks all kinds of bad vibes and penalties. It Often ended with a headache a deep sleep and 2 pissed off patrons.

Invisible Man

Now you see it, Now you dont. A referrence to my constant flacid penis and loss of erections. This is by far the worst it gets. The partner thinks its there fault, you lose all self confidence. This is the serious sucks.
At least I can always take comfort in the fact that it happens to the best of us, It happened to Houdini.
the words "I should've just finished myself off" are becoming all too familiar.
Am I the only one to be experiencing this steep decline in sexual performance?
Is my short lived career already coming to an end?
I am not Ron Jeremy.
I am not Peter North.
I am not John Holmes.
give
me
a
fucking
break.

Earn me some coin

2008-08-20T13:43:00.002+08:00

Here is a quick and simple way to earn me some of that money mayn.
As you can see I have installed some advertisements under the Blog Lords section so everytime my loyal readers click them I get paid.
Why would I want to help a dipshit like you earn some money you say sir?
Because when I earn money I spend it on things that may be sold at your store, This especially counts for Trulyheinous.com, HAF, and Yeah Homies.
But what about the ladies you say?
I might buy you a drink with this money you have helped me earn.
Its a win win situation.
I would totally do the same for you.
Remember, I'm a nice guy

The Joys of being Unemployed

2008-08-20T00:39:00.002+08:00

So today I sat around watching the Watchmen trailer over & over again & drawing characters from Watchmen.
Here is my version of Roscharch.

I'm considering even making a t-shirt so I look like a true veteran at the Premiere next year.
Actually that is tomorrows plan before I lose my nerve.

The 4 Reasons I'll feel like a little boy on christmas eve until late 2008/ early 2009

2008-08-19T11:05:00.005+08:00

The Spirit

As far as I know this is about an ex cop who comes back from the dead as a Spirit seeking revenge on who ever killed him, and along the way he is a total pimp with the ladies. Adapted from Will Eisner's comics for the the screen by Frank Miller this is bound to be good.

Watchmen

I saw the trailer for this last night at the premiere of Tropic Thunder and it blew me away. If making a movie about costumed vigilantes wasnt enough they chose Zack Snyder to direct it (300). The shot of Rorschach (the dude with the match and the spray can) is easily the most hardcore thing I have ever seen in my life. This is not one to miss but we'll be waiting till March next year to see it. I can fully understand if this turns out to be the best looking movie ever made.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This movie is about one Benjamin Button played by Brad Pitt who is born old and grows young. Directed by David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en) this movie looks incredible and the trailer is great. It comes out on Boxing Day.

Choke

Last but not least the main reason I wont be able to sleep at night until the 30th of October. Choke. Based on a book written by the same author of Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk. Who is known for his dark, twisted sense of humour. Choke focuses on a sex addicted con-man named Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell) who works at a colonial theme park. I have very very high expectations for this one. Clark Gregg, please dont dissapoint me.

is the world really coming to an end...?

2008-08-14T22:46:00.001+08:00

This will answer all the questions.

RIP BERNIE

2008-08-10T09:52:00.006+08:00

The world just got less funny

Getting a mention.

2008-08-06T19:30:00.002+08:00

The God

I talk with class X You dont have an ass

2008-08-05T08:49:00.004+08:00

For anybody who hasnt already been blessed with seeing this.

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Pesci is always fucking with you

The Bank Job X Getting Robbed

2008-07-29T23:09:00.006+08:00

Tonight my friend Lloyd and myself went to see The Bank Job in the always tidy suburb of Belmont, so obviously we got robbed. The movie itself was real good and was much more then the pancake thin plotlines we have come to expect from Statham's movies.

ps. If you see a man sporting a woman's coat, a broken ipod with one ear phone & a pocket full of change smack him in the mouth.

Ipod's on the go !

2008-07-27T11:30:00.002+08:00

Fat Caps With Fortune !

2008-07-26T18:43:00.003+08:00

12oz

Cliché USA

2008-07-24T09:34:00.005+08:00

Well seeing as most of this blogs audience live in Australia (pretty much everybody apart from me) I thought my first post from this part of the world would be of all the stuff people here take for granted and people in some other parts of the world live for...people I know anyway.

Red fire truck

Yellow taxi

Mail Services

Got to have the hard rock

Department stores

SFPD

Bums infront of burger king

Bum gretting arrested

Last but always least the crack house

To "Yeah Hommies"

2008-07-22T20:50:00.002+08:00

He's Back !

What Weve All Been Waiting For.

2008-07-22T19:39:00.004+08:00

runs on self satisfaction weather your are Eddie or not you'd be satisfied with your self in this whip

GOODBYE RED

2008-07-22T00:32:00.004+08:00

Late last saturday night we sadly had to say goodbye to our brother known as Red as he made his move back to San Fransisco. As heartbreaking as this may come to our crazy-big audience he WILL be contributing from SF & be our SF link, thus justifying our blog name that you formerly sat around hating on.
We miss you Red

Bert and Ernie

2008-07-20T14:37:00.001+08:00

2008-07-15T15:47:00.000+08:00

Wind?

2008-07-09T11:58:00.004+08:00

Could wind energy be the answer to the oil/energy problems of the world.

This old dude Thomas Boone Pickens is some rich american business man anyways i like what he's got to say it makes sense.... peep it

Christmas in july

2008-07-08T21:22:00.000+08:00

Ghost Ride It

2008-07-08T19:02:00.000+08:00

4th & 5th July

2008-07-08T10:20:00.006+08:00

Ol' Morgan Yellow Eyes

Rawness

Smoothness

Under table dealings

Shared a doobie with tom to end the night

BOSS whip

Shrimp on the Barbie

Some handled it better than others

Pwanz made the right choice and got his own dinner

gfl on josh's bills

We dont take kindly to the sunday times

Dont ask me

Grand Pumba

Some amps acrabatics

Following Blog Trends.

2008-07-07T18:48:00.009+08:00

The Pop-Tart Trend

scrumptious

Bubble Wrap

2008-07-07T12:48:00.002+08:00

Bubble wrap, ive always known that this amazing product has many different uses and is easily the most important material used in the shipping and handling industry but i didnt think they would apply to my everyday life as much as this..

macro bubble wrap

bubble wrapped pets

bubble wrapped ball sports

bubble wrapped bed

even bubble wrapped toliet

As you can see i live my life by the saying Better Safe Than Sorry.

Skate/x-box 360.

2008-07-06T21:31:00.004+08:00

i have neither so im going to
play tony hawks underground 2
on playstaion 2.

Seb's Botanical Garden

2008-07-05T09:28:00.002+08:00

between sez-you and now.

2008-06-29T19:59:00.035+08:00

a mint condition "always on time" single tossed in the bulk rubbish

The Goods

outer limitz

mr.p pugelsworth

"pimping aint easy but it sho is fun"

" Niggas gots to do what they gotta do, to get a bill YaknowhatI'msayin? " -Inspectah deck

howard st pffft....its all about harold st

poorly made fairy breads.

a piece.

Robert F. Diggs also know as.. the rza,the abbot,bobby digital,bobby steels,prince rakeem,the rza-recta,the scientist,prince delight,prince dynamite,ruler zig-zag-zig allah.a pizza present.

"i was a feen befour i became a teen"

not fit for human consumption

got a greezy little fingers on some rudie magazines

we saw tom showed him the rudie mag he seemed happy for us
then he left so we started taking more photos i actual have about 30,ooo flicks of moregoon chill'n with this mag.

i have a photo that could ruin lani street rep for years.
it will be posted one day but not today though.

the zine we got had more whang chungs than lady bits and i have no idea why it did maybe we got a lady mag insted of a dude one i dunno

the real thug shitking of karrinyup late-night

Marcy.

whaling on it

why is bart simpsons skin the same colour as his hair

befour we made our way to jims vi and i watched a few episodes of fresh prince

happiness

the mack daddy

and daddy mack

rough.

banks

yeah-homie

SHit whent down serious shit whent down.

badnews

i ate the cake after this photo.

Cake and Milk that real og shit

Man-Five

he has what the indurstry calls "it"

lino surfing whent down all night

sugar daddy

top dawg

showing off a photo he took of his little mate,you know his lil' lenny you know.

wait till these drop in hal.

done with it

snaching on something

preparing for the next season of channel 7's gladiators

and that was that

skater dudes

this was our pizza we waited about 40 mins for, we ate three slices as you can see then john dere came along and decided he whanted it and that was it no more pizza for us,

well thats it for now this post was sopost to be about 221 deep but my comp/blogger got sick of my shit and stoped working out so thats it.

pt.two is on its way.