Dislocator

You know you're a foolish drunk when you wake up hungover under a bed in a scummy hotel room on a tuesday morning with a knee looking like this.


Little did the big gods of karma know I can now legitimately rock a pimp limp and a cane out for the coming 2 weeks.

ps. You other 2 dipshits who are allegedly part of this blog better get your act together. 7 posts in a row & I'm 1 post away from abandoning your asses & making my own supercool blog.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Toilet Pipes

Yesterday afternoon we began our Journey to the Centre of the Earth

Tunnel Vision


These tunnels aren't really as big as your shows like Tennage Mutant Ninja Turtles make them out to be. We had our hearts set on some Melbourne stormwater drains type shit. We were wrong & we were claustraphobic.


The dust masks served a purpose.




We ended up crawling about 200 metres in and each painted in the circle stairwells. Little did we know there would be no air ventilation what so ever.




Painting like this proved to be hard work considering how shakey I became after inhaling about 2 litres of paint fumes.


There was so much paint fumes that our torch turned in a lightsaber. Use the torch!


We all inhaled a stupid amount of paint. I now know exactly how a daysh feels everyday of their life.

Wizard of Oz's Tin-man


After this we went and wasted our welfare checks on cheap wine and White ox.

Saturday night by Whigfield

I captured this last night on the way from Myplace to Seizan's.
I felt real sorry for this poor blonde girl.
She was the most visibly upset I have ever seen anyone in my life.
Ahhhhh to be young.

Look A-likes

Scagnetti's top 5 most epic tracks

5: The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning by The Smashing Pumpkins


This song truly rocks socks. The bass line near the beginning makes me want to smash my head through bulletproof glass everytime I hear it. It has also been used in Batman & Robin (easily the worst Batman film ever) and the highly anticipated Watchmen Trailer. Its a shame the movie it was first used in wasnt as awesome as this song.
Joel Schumacher gives us our well deserved apologies.



4: Where Is My Mind by The Pixies



This song gives me goosebumps. One of those only songs you can listen to 1 billion times and never get sick of. The lyrics rule, the riff rules, the movie Fight Club it was used in rules & I'ts probably the only song thats been used over rolling credits that doesnt leave you feeling awkward with a retarted grin on your face walking out of the cinema not knowing what to do with your hands.

3: Perfect Day by Lou Reed



This is a song you would either want played while you are O.D'ing on heroin and falling through the floor, going head to head with a semi trailer in slow motion or at your own funeral. This is great music.

2: In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins



This song was written whilst he was going through his divorce and apparently he was real pissed about it all. This was very very close to being my number one. If the song was as intense as the 5 second drum beat 3 minutes 20 seconds in it would have easily gotten there.When I break up with someone I'm going to make sure this song is playing in the background. If there was a video clip I could remake starring myself this would definetily be it.

1: Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd



This was easily my number 1 pick and easily my favourite Pink Floyd song. This is probably the closest to perfect a song can get. The guitar the lyrics and everything else are flawless. It's written about ex band member Syd Barret's turn into a recluse. Each verse blows my hair back.In a perfect world all music would be this good & we wouldnt have to listen to some pre-buscent little dipshits singing about playing ping pong.
Please play this at my funeral.

What are your top 5?

Mr. Scumbag's date with Karma.

Last friday night out the front of Dorcia things got a bit rough & a few punches were getting thrown when our big hero below decided to show up.
Soon after this I experienced the most savage & well timed serving of Karma I have and will probably ever see again.
Toughguy walked up & down the street hitting anybody in the way (inlcuding me) rambling about someone trying to fight his cousin (who I'm sure is equally as much of a dropkick)when suddenly he decided to hit the wrong guy. Who in return knocked his 2 front teeth out & sent him unconscious to the floor where he remained a paraplegic until the police showed up and arrested him. Which was then followed by him scrambling around on the floor like an Eel wollowing & crying about how it was unfair & that he didnt do anything wrong. We all stood around enjoying this & throwing in our 2 cents every few seconds as he was getting dragged off to the paddy wagon (where I'm quite sure the police would have delivered there own little bit of poetic justice) about how he would be better off dead & how his long & painful death would be very well received.
Friday night was an eye-opener & did a good job in restoring some of my faith in humanity.



Spot the Difference:

Correct, there is none.

Judd Apatow

The man is a Genius.

King of King's

"Tens of thousands of chanting, bare-breasted maidens have paraded before the King of Swaziland, many of them hoping to catch his eye and be picked out to become his 14th wife.

The annual Umhlanga, or reed dance, which finishes today at the royal residence in Ludzidzini, is a magnificent display of national tradition and pride in one of Africa's smallest countries.Officials claimed that 100,000 unmarried girls and women, almost 10 per cent of the entire population, presented the Queen Mother, or Indlovukazi meaning, "Great She-Elephant" with newly cut reeds to act as a windbreak around her compound.

As part of the ceremonies, Mswati III, Africa's last absolute monarch, is entitled to choose a new bride from among the maidens to add to his current 13 wives. It is an honour that cannot be refused"


Some of the local Swaziland women dancing for the kings love


The King himself (looks like kind of a freek if you ask me)

The real sad thing about this is Swaziland is believed to have the highest rate of HIV/Aids in the world, with two in every five pregnant women carrying the virus. Life expectancy is just over 30. A baby born in Swaziland today has almost a 75 per cent chance of dying before 40 and while all this is going down the king of this country is to busy choosing his 14th wife.
Oh and you might say to yourself, "well you cant blame him for having all of these wife's, it must be a long running tradition in Swaziland". Well the truth is the King Mswati started this "tradition" in 1999 the same year he became king!

Welcome to America

Yes its true the imfamous Steven Reilly has arrived in the States. So all you girls out there be quick to get you a piece because he aint gonna be chillin around these streets forever!

"Yeh I felt it"

"A 4.0 earthquake centered in Alamo along the Calaveras Fault shook San Francisco and the East Bay Friday night.

The U.S. Geological Survey reported the quake at 9 p.m., four miles northwest of Danville and seven miles south of Concord in Contra Costa County. It was felt as a sharp rumble that lasted about seven seconds. An aftershock, measuring 1.9, followed shortly after.

The light quake halted BART trains (Bay Area Rail Transit) for about five minutes. According to the U.S.G.S., the quake had a depth of 10.1 miles, and residents as far away as San Jose and Stockton reported feeling a jolt."

So I was actually chillin' smoking a doobie when the pussy little quake hit, I mean I felt something. What i felt was pretty weird and I'll admit my heart fluttered for a second but a 4.0 is on the small side of the scale. Its funny though later on in the night on the 12 o'clock news they were asking people "so how will you prepare for a bigger earthquake sir/mam?" Come on, how the hell do you prepare for an earthquak. They just happen nobody knows when or where, they just go down, idiots. Apparently when I was one or so a 7.8 earthquake went down in san francisco and a few peeps died and shit. I wish I could remember it because it sounds pretty gnarly. Anyway, good times.