Friday, August 29, 2008

Its A Stick-up !

I've been back in the bay area for around a month now and it has been very enjoyable and everything has been running smoothly to say the least, But for local store and restaraunt owners that hasn't been the case. Since August 5th there has been 12 takeover robberies where 2 or 3 niggas would run up in the store around closing time with gats and rob it. So far nobody has been shot, one dude got pistol whipped though (I'd say he was talking shit!)

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Map of robberies

By the map you can see that pretty much all the robberies go down in Oakland. Oakland being the city with the largest numbers of black people in the bay area. Anyway I gotta give mad props to these dudes, I mean cops have no suspects so far and one weekend they committed 3 robberies in one night which is just outrageous.

In conclusion I'd like to see this end in some insane way like you see in the movies I just think it would be fitting, like with all the news coverage on it going down. So if any of you niggas robbing shit read this post you know what you gotta do...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

All Aboard the SS. Fail

Beauuutiful fucking day.

These things took forever to inflate.

Lucky the Anaconda feind claimed a pump earlier on in the week.

I was light headed and close to passing out on my weak attempts to blow up the little pillows with my beanbag lungs.

Mowgli from the cast of The Jungle Book was there.

The land lovers set sail while I managed to poke 2 holes in our boat with our palm tree ores.

Canadian club got a mention

"And you thought the Rad Kids had fun!"

Doobies, nachos & being overweight went down.

The land lovers got sea sick.

One too many sea shantys.

We had to make a dash for the shore when our boat began sinking.

I got wet.

The land lords had nothing on our rowing skills.

You can almost tell by the looks on their faces that this is the moment the ranger told us the water was infested with Botulism and a shitload of birds died from it each year.

Our hearts sunk and we left.
Ahhhhhhh to be young.

On Fire !

Saturday, August 23, 2008

A quick run through my illustrious sexual career using fictional characters.

Batman

This is where it all starts. Bat obviously being a referrence to masturbate

The Flash

Understandably the flash was next. Finishing before it started, 30 seconds and I had thrown in the towel. Playing premature Pete was no fun at all but we all have to start somewhere.

Spawn

Next was Spawn. This is where I began to be able to control myself and learn a little more about what was happening. This was all part of the rise to ultimately

The Terminator

This was the peak of my career. I tore it up, I was hard as cement and not even a high speed pursuit through the sewerage pipe had me throwing in the towel early.
(sewerage pipe being a referrence to you know what.)

The Incredible Hulk

This was my stubborn stage. I couldnt control it and ultimately couldnt ever finish. This sparks all kinds of bad vibes and penalties. It Often ended with a headache a deep sleep and 2 pissed off patrons.

Invisible Man

Now you see it, Now you dont. A referrence to my constant flacid penis and loss of erections. This is by far the worst it gets. The partner thinks its there fault, you lose all self confidence. This is the serious sucks.
At least I can always take comfort in the fact that it happens to the best of us, It happened to Houdini.
the words "I should've just finished myself off" are becoming all too familiar.
Am I the only one to be experiencing this steep decline in sexual performance?
Is my short lived career already coming to an end?
I am not Ron Jeremy.
I am not Peter North.
I am not John Holmes.
give
me
a
fucking
break.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Earn me some coin

Here is a quick and simple way to earn me some of that money mayn.
As you can see I have installed some advertisements under the Blog Lords section so everytime my loyal readers click them I get paid.
Why would I want to help a dipshit like you earn some money you say sir?
Because when I earn money I spend it on things that may be sold at your store, This especially counts for Trulyheinous.com, HAF, and Yeah Homies.
But what about the ladies you say?
I might buy you a drink with this money you have helped me earn.
Its a win win situation.
I would totally do the same for you.
Remember, I'm a nice guy

The Joys of being Unemployed

So today I sat around watching the Watchmen trailer over & over again & drawing characters from Watchmen.
Here is my version of Roscharch.


I'm considering even making a t-shirt so I look like a true veteran at the Premiere next year.
Actually that is tomorrows plan before I lose my nerve.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The 4 Reasons I'll feel like a little boy on christmas eve until late 2008/ early 2009

The Spirit

As far as I know this is about an ex cop who comes back from the dead as a Spirit seeking revenge on who ever killed him, and along the way he is a total pimp with the ladies. Adapted from Will Eisner's comics for the the screen by Frank Miller this is bound to be good.

Watchmen

I saw the trailer for this last night at the premiere of Tropic Thunder and it blew me away. If making a movie about costumed vigilantes wasnt enough they chose Zack Snyder to direct it (300). The shot of Rorschach (the dude with the match and the spray can) is easily the most hardcore thing I have ever seen in my life. This is not one to miss but we'll be waiting till March next year to see it. I can fully understand if this turns out to be the best looking movie ever made.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This movie is about one Benjamin Button played by Brad Pitt who is born old and grows young. Directed by David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en) this movie looks incredible and the trailer is great. It comes out on Boxing Day.

Choke

Last but not least the main reason I wont be able to sleep at night until the 30th of October. Choke. Based on a book written by the same author of Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk. Who is known for his dark, twisted sense of humour. Choke focuses on a sex addicted con-man named Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell) who works at a colonial theme park. I have very very high expectations for this one. Clark Gregg, please dont dissapoint me.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Sunday, August 10, 2008

RIP BERNIE

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The world just got less funny

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I talk with class X You dont have an ass

For anybody who hasnt already been blessed with seeing this.

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Pesci is always fucking with you